School Violence: How Can We Keep Our Children Safe?Michael Smalley
The Smalley Marriage and Family CenterSix people
died from a recent shooting at an Amish schoolhouse last Monday morning
in Lancaster County, PA and according to authorities, more people are
still in hospitals recovering. Although this particular shooting was
committed by an adult outside the local community, the recent tragedy
heightens our concerns for all forms of violence in our schools. Why is
school violence increasing, and even more importantly, what can we do
to stop the violence?
School violence is sadly no
longer a freak occurrence but rather an annual tragedy for multiple
states in America. A recent study by the U.S. Department of Education
and U.S. Department of Justice noted that 20 percent of all public
schools from 1999-2000 experienced one or more serious violent crimes
such as rape, sexual assault, robbery, and aggravated assault.
School violence occurs
because of a multitude of issues -- the primary issue being the
relationship with the kids who commit the violence and their parents.
Parents can have a profound impact on their children’s lives -- sadly,
this impact can be negative or positive. Our job as parents is to be
educated and aware of what our children are doing. Not in a pervasive
or controlling manner, but in a, I care about you and love to know
what’s going on in your life, kind of way.
School violence is
increasing because a greater number of kids are not being cared for by
their parents. Many parents today are either too busy with dual-income
lives or their families have been ravaged by divorce.
Parents need to know who their kids are hanging out with and the kinds
of friendships they are developing. If you notice that your child is
hanging out with the wrong crowd, then you need to be able to address
this with your child and seek to understand why he is befriending kids
who don’t have the best reputations.
This all may sound like
common sense to many Christian parents – yet violence continues. That’s
because the parents who do care about their kids and actively
participate in their lives typically don’t have kids who would commit
these violent kinds of acts on other children. We don’t need to worry
about the good parents and their kids. We need to worry about the
neglectful parents, the tired parents, the broken parents. We need to
be able to identify their children and then identify how we can reach
out to the kids – and their families - who really need positive
influences in their life.
The American Psychological Association (APA) has these following tips on how to recognize a kid who might turn violent:
loss of temper on a daily basis
frequent physical fighting
significant vandalism or property damage
increase in use of drugs or alcohol
increase in risk-taking behavior
detailed plans to commit acts of violence
announcing threats or plans for hurting others
enjoying hurting animals
carrying a weapon
If you notice the following signs over a period of time, the potential for violence exists:
a history of violent or aggressive behavior
serious drug or alcohol use
gang membership or strong desire to be in a gang
access to or fascination with weapons, especially guns
threatening others regularly
trouble controlling feelings like anger
withdrawal from friends and usual activities
feeling rejected or alone
having been a victim of bullying
poor school performance
history of discipline problems or frequent run-ins with authority
feeling constantly disrespected
failing to acknowledge the feelings or rights of others
It’s not just parents who
need to be able to recognize these warning signs. How many times, after
a tragic event, have kids shared that they sensed something was off
with their fellow classmate? Kids need to be actively aware of their
schoolmates; they need to know the warning signs. Kids are not stupid
-- they can notice these signs and are capable of going to their
parents or authorities to help prevent violence. Ultimately, our hope
for decreasing violence in our schools begins with our awareness of the
danger signs for potentially violent students. Knowledge is power, and
in this case, knowledge can literally save lives.